An Ordinary Fairy Tale NOT
by rightnexttoyou
Summary: Most Ordinary Fairy tales have witches. Right? The Princess is then kidnapped. Right? Then the witch breaks her back falling of a broom...right?


Lisa: This is my first crack-fic.

Natsume: Ptttff. No it isn't.

Lisa: FINE. First ATTEMPTED crack-fic. Please, enjoy. But at the same time you may not. It's crappy. IT'S A CRAPPY CRACK-FIC! –In sing-song voice- you know you still have the time to click the back button -.-'

Koko: You know, you have a horrible voice…

Lisa: Oh just shut it. Well, here's the story! (if you want to read it)

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**An Ordinary Fairy Tale. NOT.**

_**Ordinary Fairytales sometimes contains witches, Right?**_

_**Then the witch breaks her back…Right?**_

By: Lisa AKA Neko-chan.

It was a beautiful sunny morning, and beautiful birds were chirping in the beautiful trees above beautiful Princess Mikan. She was beautifully twirling, dancing around in circle, that was until…she became dizzy. Bonk! Mikan's head stylishly made contact with a tree trunk, causing her to lose her consciousness. A bandage magically appeared out of thin air had stamped itself upon her forehead.

'Something' dragged her to Hotaru, then the whatever-it-was disappeared out of the story. Hotaru turned around. "Oh, Mikan has been dragged by the author here. I pity the author, it must been hard considering what a heavy load Mikan is." Calling Amanstu, she instructed the robot to carry the 'heavy' Mikan to her palace dorm.

As Amanstu entered the pink, luxurious, fluffy, comfy, humongous, gigantic, unhygienic with idiot germs (in Hotaru's point of view), tidy room, Anna, Nonoko, and Sumire popped out of thin air. They were Mikan best friends. Sumire daintily babbled about how much she hated rats. Anna and Nonoko pretending to be engrossed, but they were actually too busy worrying about Mikan's sore head. A messenger appeared at the door and told Mikan that she was betrothed to Prince Natsume. But he stopped in mid-sentence because he found out that she was asleep. He then turned to Anna and said, "Please tell the Hime that she is going to be married to the Prince, Natsume Hyuuga. Anna nodded and Poof! The messenger from Mikan's father had vanished.

Anna wrote on a sticky note and stuck onto Mikan's bedside table. Natsume Hyuuga magically entered Mikan's room, saw her angelic face and immediately fell in love with her. Mikan's eyelids shot open, revealing the amazing chocolate brown jewels glittering within and on the surface. She glanced around, but by that Natsume had already dashed out the door.

She noticed a sticky note stuck on the bedside table. She read it and soon strings of curses were heard all over the Sakura Kingdom.

**Somewhere far, far away.**

"I shall make her vanish, let's see if that wonderful prince would be with mine then." Luna, the witch aka Hula Bala Yaga, was going to separate the couple Natsume x Mikan in the manga. She was sick of being the bitch in all the fanfics. Well, right now, she was one. "Natsume will soon be mine." She hackled. Opps. I meant cackle. I was thinking of 'h' for hate a bit TOO much. –Gives off an I'm-innocent laugh-

Luna frowned, and even more wrinkles appeared on her already wrinkled face. She forgot that she was already 36 years old. She tested her red nails, tapping on the surface of her desk. Hackled wasn't even a word. Stupid author. Her typos were so stupid. Hackle meant hair. So stupid. She looked up and unexpectedly saw on her crystal globe, the words _'Shut up. At least I'm not as wrinkly as you'_. She yelped in terror and nearly fell off her chair. An author's note fluttered on to her blond head. (Author's note: Don't fall of the chair, you might break your bones and I'm not paying for the hospital bills, plus, I can't continue the story either.) She gawked stupidly as she read the note.

Then she glared out the window, which where she thought I was…nah, I was behind her. She stomped away, spitting out incoherent words like _'Stupid…author…Natsume….love…kidnap…Sakura…'_and things like that.

**A few hours Later…**

She teleported clumsily and ended up in the bathroom, the door LOCKED from the outside. "Help! Let me out! I'm stuck! Anybody Help!" Mikan, being so kind-hearted, opened the door for Luna, and Luna, being given an opportunity to snatch Mikan to her where-ever-she-lives, grabbed Mikan by the collar, teleported back to her whatever-she-lived-in. Possibly a cottage, but that's too un-witch-like for her.

She began chaining Mikan wall in her storage room. Then she grabbed her dilapidated broom and flew out the window. Crack! Luna's broom snapped in half, and she fell to the ground.

Snap! Luna's back broke!

_I'm sorry; we cannot really 'continue' the story till Luna's back heals._

**A day later…**

Prince Natsume arrived to save his princess from the broken-back witch. Since she was in hospital, he had nothing to fight against, except for maybe his hormones. Mikan was already banging on the door of the storage room by the time he got there. "I'm here, my dear Mikan!" Natsume panted, having ridden the stupid horse (everything was stupid to Natsume, except for Mikan and Ruka ) for a day without water or food over the 56 kilometers, even though he could've came by his brand new sports car, he didn't want to ruin its smooth surface. He took the horse instead, which exactly why the author had to delete the paragraph that was titled 'An hour later'. Stupid Natsume. Oh well. Continue the story. As soon as he unlocked the door, Mikan fell into his arms in a very princess-like manner.

"Alas!" she cried, "I thought you ran after that blond witch and was looking after her in the hospital!"

"I thought blonds were stupid." Natsume scoffed giddily. "You're insulting Ruka-pyon!" Mikan screamed, choking chibi Natsume, who was going blue in the face, right now turning purple. When she stopped strangling him, he caught his breath, and was able to speak again. "Oh yeah, he was my idiotic childhood best friend,-"

**At the Palace…**

"A-a-a-choo!" Ruka sneezed. Hotaru passed him a tissue. "Thanks." Came Ruka's muffled voice, coming through the tissue. Wasn't she nice, passing him- "10 rabbits." Out came Hotaru greedy personality…for money…

**Back at the what-ever-the-witch-lived-in…**

"But he is still my idiotic best friend, who's in love with that freak, Imai Hotaru."

**Back at the palace…**

"ACHOO!" came Hotaru's sneeze. "Someone's definitely talking about us", an evil glint flashed in her beautiful, violet/amethyst/purple/i-really-don't-care-what-colour-her-eyes-are orbs. "And they are going to pay." But Ruka knew that she wouldn't do that.

**Back at the whatever-the-witch-lived-in…**

"DON'T CALL HOTARU A FREAK! YOU JERK!" Mikan snapped. "I have a feeling that the authors dizzy from going from place to place at intervals of a few seconds. An author's note appeared in her hands. _Author's Note: Thank you for saving me, I think going to faint. _"Oh. So I was right. Stop talking about Ruka and Hotaru, Natsume!" Mikan whined.

"Wait, how did you know my name?" Natsume asked. "Ptttff, obviously because we met a year before." Mikan answered arrogantly.

"We did?" Natsume scratched his head, clueless. Mikan sweat dropped, the door suddenly turned in ashes, Natsume had been thinking too long. Mikan stopped him from turning everything else into ashes, like in every other story.

And they went home, driving his sports car that had paranormally appeared.

**Back at the Sakura Palace…**

When Natsume and Mikan had arrived at the palace in his stylish new car, Mikan's friends pounced on top her, squealing like little piglets, except for Hotaru of course. "I'm so glad that you had come back, Mikan" said Hotaru monotonously/ bluntly/ flatly/ nonchalantly. Mikan had question marks all over hair. Sumire brushed them off, muttering something like; _not fashionable…gross marks…need to beautify hair… _and so on about fashion and make up. By the time she finished speaking; Mikan was blue in the face. "Opps!" Anna, Nonoko, and Sumire squealed – again.

**In the Hospital…**

Luna snarled at her only black cat, which was ridding at the back of the broom. "You only cause bad luck for me" she gritted her teeth in aggravation. "Then your dear Natsume will only cause you trouble." The black cat stated with an air of pride. "You know that he is also a Black Cat."

"Hmm…Let me think about it…" said Hula Bala Yaga, pondering shallowly. "Ah! I shall let him go and go for the Elementary School Principal!" And she grinned an evil grin. The black cat sweat dropped and thought 'my owner insane!' and eyed her cautiously, before she did anything rash.

**A few months later…**

Mikan was happily married to Natsume…and Hotaru was emotionlessly married to Ruka. "To increase my pile of cash," says she. And Luna was getting married to the Elementary Principal. What a wonderful ending! Or is it?

"HOTARU! GIVE BACK THOSE PICTURES!" Poor Ruka…

* * *

Lisa: So…how was it? Crappy? Stupid? Feel free to Flame! No charge!

Natsume: Lousy.

Lisa: Whatever. I'm not even asking you. And aren't you on your honeymoon with Mikan?

Natsume: HOLY SHIT! I FORGOT!

Mikan: GRRR…

Koko: The End.


End file.
